Born to Love: A Valentine’s Reflection on Relationships, Purpose, and Understanding

A DISC-Inspired Story

February has always meant more to me than Valentine’s Day.

It’s my birth month. In fact, today, February 9, is my birthday!

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.”
— Mark Twain

I believe this deeply.

I was born to love God.
To love my wife.
To love my children.
And to care and add value to people.

That realization reshaped how I see success.

John Maxwell defines success not by achievements or titles, but by knowing your purpose, growing to your potential, and sowing seeds that help others. That definition has guided my leadership, my coaching, and the way I try to live each day.

So this Valentine’s season, I wanted to write about love.

Not something technical.
Not something complicated.
Just something honest.

The Relationship Problem We All Face

Most relationships don’t struggle because people stop caring.

They struggle because people stop understanding.

We love with good intentions, yet still hear:

“You don’t listen to me.”
“You don’t get me.”
“I don’t feel appreciated.”

We give love the way we want to receive it—and assume it should feel the same to others.

But it doesn’t.

Many of us try to live by the Golden Rule, which says:

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

That principle has guided relationships for generations—and it’s a good place to start.

But healthy relationships grow deeper when we take it one step further and apply what many call the Platinum Rule, which says:

“Do unto others as they would want to be treated.”

The Golden Rule is about good intentions.
The Platinum Rule is about true understanding.

When we don’t make that shift, a gap forms between intention and impact. Over time, that gap creates frustration, distance, and emotional fatigue—even in relationships that began with deep love.

Why This Matters More Than We Think

When misunderstandings are left unaddressed:

Small issues turn into repeated conflicts
Appreciation turns into assumption
Connection turns into routine

Not because love disappeared—but because clarity never arrived.

And without clarity, even love starts to feel heavy.

A Simple Framework That Changed How I See Relationships

Before going further, let me briefly explain DISC, especially for those encountering it for the first time.

DISC is a behavioral framework that helps us understand how people naturally communicate, make decisions, and respond under pressure. It describes four primary styles:

D – Dominance (decisive, results-focused)
I – Influence (expressive, people-focused)
S – Steadiness (supportive, consistent)
C – Conscientiousness (thoughtful, detail-oriented)

DISC doesn’t label people.
It explains why people behave the way they do—and how we can adapt to build better relationships.

Why DISC Matters Beyond the Workplace

As a DISC consultant, I’ve used this tool for years to help organizations work better together. But over time, I realized something important:

DISC is just as powerful at home as it is at work.

I’ve seen it help couples stop taking differences personally.
I’ve seen spouses replace frustration with empathy.
I’ve seen relationships soften—not because people changed, but because they finally understood each other.

DISC reminds us of a simple truth:

People receive love differently.

Practical Ways to Express Love—Based on DISC

Love doesn’t need to be dramatic to be meaningful.
Often, it’s expressed in small, everyday moments—the kind that quietly say, “I see you.”

For a D-style Partner

Action communicates love.

I once heard a leader share that he thought waiting was being considerate. His spouse, a strong D, felt the opposite—she felt alone in carrying decisions.

One day, he simply said, “I’ll handle this. You rest.”
No debate. No delay.

That moment changed everything.

For a D, love shows up through initiative, decisiveness, and follow-through.

For an I-style Partner

Presence communicates love.

A spouse once said, “He’s beside me, but his attention isn’t.”
The issue wasn’t love—it was distraction.

When you shut down your phone, laughter returned.
Short messages during the day brought smiles.
Connection felt alive again.

For an I, love grows through attention, affirmation, and shared moments.

For an S-style Partner

Consistency communicates love.

An S-style partner once shared that what made her feel safest wasn’t grand gestures—it was knowing her spouse would come home when he said he would.

When he asked, “How are you really feeling?” and listened patiently, trust deepened.

For an S, love is found in reliability, gentleness, and reassurance.

For a C-style Partner

Intentional effort communicates love.

A C-style partner once said, “When you plan ahead, I feel respected.”

Clear conversations.
Thoughtful preparation.
Details handled with care.

For a C, love is expressed through clarity, honesty, and intentional effort.

What Changes When Understanding Leads

When we stop assuming and start understanding:

Conflicts soften
Trust deepens
Appreciation returns
Relationships feel lighter

Love becomes easier—not because it requires less effort, but because that effort finally lands where it matters.

Final Thought

I believe all of us were born to love—and to help others love better.

At home.
At work.
In leadership.
In life.

Along the way, I’ve learned that love grows not through grand gestures but through understanding—understanding ourselves, the people we lead, and the ones we love most.

Sometimes that understanding comes simply from slowing down and paying closer attention. Sometimes it comes from having better language for what we’ve always felt but couldn’t quite put into words.

Wherever you are in your journey, may this Valentine’s season be a gentle reminder to choose empathy over assumption, clarity over reaction, and intention over habit.

Because when people feel understood, they don’t just stay connected—they grow together.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

A Note Before You Go

In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing real-life stories from my journey as a DISC consultant—stories from couples, families, and leaders I’ve had the privilege to walk alongside.

They’re honest.
They’re human.
And they show how understanding can quietly transform relationships.

If this reflection resonated with you, wait for it.
More stories are coming.