Failing Forward: When Failure Became My Friend
I failed a major Math subject in college and lost my government scholarship.
That experience did more than disappoint me. It made me afraid of failure. I worried that if I tried and failed again, it would prove I wasn’t capable. For a time, failure felt like something to avoid at all costs.
But life kept asking me to take another step. I worked as a “technical janitor” while studying at night. I had to find a way to keep going, even when the path looked different from the one I had planned.
Over the years, I began to see failure differently. I realized that failure can be a friend and a partner of success. It can show us what needs to change, teach us how to prepare better, and help us grow into the people our goals require us to become.
That doesn’t make failure easy or enjoyable. It means that, when we’re willing to learn from it, failure can help us move forward.
Failure didn’t write the rest of my story
After graduating with a Bachelor’s Degree in Electrical Engineering, I built a career in telecommunications that lasted nearly 30 years. I eventually became a senior manager and department head. I helped lead major projects, including an outside plant rollout involving 300,000 lines and the development of a green data center.
Those achievements didn’t happen because I never made mistakes or faced difficulties. They came through years of learning, working with others, and continuing to take on responsibility.
Later, I moved into entrepreneurship, coaching, and leadership development. I became a certified coach and trainer through the John Maxwell Leadership Team in the United States. That training helped me develop my ability to guide and equip others as they work toward their goals.
Through BNI, I also had the opportunity to help build communities of business owners. One chapter I worked with grew from 19 members to more than 100 that help them generate over Php900M referrals. Today, as a BNI Executive Director in South Luzon 2, I continue to support leaders and entrepreneurs as they grow their businesses and serve their communities.
Another milestone in my journey was writing The Trinity of Growth™. In the book, I bring together three areas I believe are essential to business growth: leadership, business competency, and network connections. Writing it gave me a way to share lessons from my work and experience with more business owners.
When I look at these milestones, I don’t see a story without failure. I see a journey in which setbacks were part of the process. My college failure did not determine the full course of my life. It became one chapter in a much longer story.
A setback is part of your story, not the whole story
Business owners and leaders face their own versions of failure. A customer says no. A new service doesn’t sell. A trusted employee leaves. A decision costs more than expected.
When these things happen, it’s easy to ask, “What does this say about me?” A more useful question may be, “What can I learn from this, and what can I do next?”
A setback may reveal that a plan needs to change, a skill needs to improve, or a difficult conversation can’t be delayed any longer. That can be uncomfortable to see. But once we see the problem clearly, we have a place to begin.
Take responsibility for what you can influence
Taking responsibility doesn’t mean blaming yourself for everything that went wrong. Some circumstances are outside our control. Markets change. People make their own choices. Unexpected events disrupt plans.
Responsibility means looking honestly at the part we can influence.
Did I prepare well? Did I communicate clearly? Did I ask for help soon enough? Was I willing to adjust when I saw that the plan wasn’t working?
These questions aren’t meant to make us feel worse. They help us identify what we can do differently next time.
As leaders, our response to failure also affects our teams. If we hide every mistake, others may feel they need to hide problems too. When we talk about what happened with honesty and respect, we make it easier to raise concerns early and work together on solutions.
Learn from failure, then take the next step
“Keep going” is helpful advice, but moving forward without reflection can lead us to repeat the same mistake.
After a disappointment, ask yourself:
- What happened? Start with the facts.
- What did I expect, and what actually happened?
- What part was within my influence?
- What will I change the next time I face a similar situation?
Write down what you learn. If others were affected, speak with them. Then choose one practical next step.
John C. Maxwell’s Failing Forward helped put this idea into words for many readers: mistakes and setbacks can become stepping stones when we learn from them and keep moving. The lesson isn’t that failure feels good. It’s that failure can teach us something valuable if we’re willing to pay attention.
Your challenge
Think about one failure or setback that is still weighing on you. What did it teach you? What is one step you can take this week to begin moving forward?
It doesn’t have to solve everything. It just has to help you begin.
And if you feel stuck and can’t move on because of a failure, please book a free, one-hour discovery call with me. There’s no commitment. I simply want to listen, help you gain clarity, and explore a possible next step with you.
Failure made me afraid to try again. Over time, I learned that it could also help me succeed. Your setback may change your path, but it doesn’t have to end your journey.
